Your birthday is coming up and you have been looking at skateboards for sale, dropping hints for your parents about the health benefits of skateboards for kids. If they fall for that guff and you get one, I want you to remember this. When you are out on that skateboard and you see grandma walking slowly down the street with the aid of her cane or walker, you stay well clear of her. And I don’t just mean your grandma; I mean anyone’s grandma. There are a lot of them out there and they are strictly of limits.
You do not come up behind her and yell, or see how close you can shave by her without actually touching. You do not curve in suddenly in front of her. You keep your distance at all times and make sure your friends do the same. And I say this for your own good. She may seem harmless at the moment, but grandma’s day is coming. Sometime soon she is going get one of those electric buggies and then you had better watch out.
Those buggies may not go more than 10km/h, but they can creep up silently behind you in the street or shopping centre. And they are vicious. Ankles, heals, knees, ribs; they can hit you anywhere, gouge chunks out of you and send you flying. Your penny skateboard will be no match for them. Wheelchair buggies are more stable; have bigger wheels and can travel over terrain your skateboard trucks and wheels can’t handle. They can come at you from unexpected directions and chase you 25 – 30 km before they need to recharge.
You think she’s a sweet old lady who wouldn’t hurt a fly, but something strange happens when they get behind the wheel of an scooters for sale Christchurch. They undergo a weird transformation and turn into something you definitely don’t want to tangle with. Grandma is getting tired of people pushing past and bumping into her; she is fed up with kids on skateboards taking runs at her, threatening her precarious balance. Remember the first time you stood on a skateboard, how it wobbled, how hard it was to keep your balance. That’s how it is for her now with every step. Enough is enough. Grandma is getting mad as hell and, when she gets that buggy, she’s not going to take it anymore.
And don’t forget there’s an aging population, so soon those grandmas are going to outnumber you kids. They will be everywhere, waiting for you when you get off the bus, watching you play sport, zipping round the local shopping mall, and probably there in the house when you get home that offer the best customer service. There will be nowhere you can go on your skateboard where you will be safe from them. So treat them with respect now, don’t upset them, keep a safe distance with your skateboard, and hope that they put off getting that brutal buggy for a few more years.